Miserable but Ohhh so Grateful

I did it. I had the surgery. It was a lot harder then I thought. Both emotionally and physically. After a year of not understanding my body or what was going on, with glimpses of good health (few and far in between), not having answers, getting answers but no results, feeling like this is going to be my life forever; Put me in a state of fear and sorrow I have never experienced before. I felt helpless. The surgery I was excited for, I still am. But it was way harder on my body then I thought it was going to be. I was so excited to be in good health I didn't realize this last step would be the biggest. Everything hit me. Basically, I am a wuss! That freaking hurt. Thank goodness I only have to get my tonsils removed once. Hopefully this will help keep me from getting strep. As for the sinus surgery, I CAN BREATH... I had no idea what it was like. I knew no different. My nose is still a little tender and I go in every few weeks for a sinus cleaning (which I really like, weird I know). It all was worth it.

More then anything it was honestly worth the experience. I know that sounds odd but I learned so much through this trial. I always saw myself as compassionate person. But now I see it from a totally different angle. The concern I have for others has greatly increased. I serve not just because I want to but out of true concern for others, I will never JUDGE someone or criticize the way they handle a situation. I learned this from two amazing people, Mom in Cheyenne (Dwyla) and Colette. What amazingly selfless people. Dwyla left her life to take care of me and my two young kids. She did so much. I always enjoy my time with her and the role model she is to me. I can never thank her enough for all she did. She was a life saver. I want to be just like her. Kind, selfless, thoughtful, full of charity and the list goes on and on. I can never thank her enough for all she did. We love you Grandma! Colette came to the rescue the second week. The Dr. told me it would be a hard two weeks. I figured that meant I would be able to function the second week. Uhm no... You can't bend over or lift more then 10 pounds. I thought I would be an exception. I didn't realize the pain and I am sure risk that goes along with those tasks. Colette knows me way to well and felt she should come out the second week. She is amazing. Her kids were amazing. Layla is still going through Cecilia withdrawls. I look at Colette and admire the grasp she has on life. I admire her level of faith and trust in the Lord. She is just like her Mother is sincere, kind, and full of charity. She is not caught up in things that don't matter. I am so blessed to have the family I do. I seriously could NOT have done it with out them. I can't forget to thank my WONDERFUL husband and children. Josh has had to take care of the mothering role the last year along with the father, and starting a new job. He couldn't of done a better job at any of these tasks. I am humbled to know I have been blessed with such an amazing family. The kids have done so well. Liam and Layla were such angels and so concerned. Liam kept telling me once I started feeling better that I should be in my bed resting. I told him I am feeling a lot better. He was so excited. Layla was so sweet and loved all the visitors. I can't forget to thank the remaining family and friends that called with concern and let me just talk. I had a lot of help from friends so I could give Grandma a break. I am blessed. It is amazing the type of character that shines through in people when they see you hurting. The love I have for the family and friends has greatly increased. I want to be more like each and everyone of them. I look forward to be on the other end of service for a while. Soooo... if you need ANYTHING just let me know. I look forward to serving you :)

My hero's :)

Layla's BCF (Best Cousin FOEVER)

The kids watching a movie about sharks at the Museum. Liam said in his loud voice, "Jesus wouldn't want to walk on that water!".