My Perfect Life (Perfectly out of CONTROL)

Lately, I have had many friends ask me how Layla is sleeping. I am so HAPPY to say that she is sleeping through the night. What did the trick? I have no idea. I suppose a little bit of everything. Maybe it is the music, white noise maker, schedule, early bed time, having her put her self to sleep (cry it out), choosing to strickly nurse her. I have no idea what it was but I am not about to take any of that away risking I would be as sleep deprived as before.
I realized through that trial and yes, it was a HUGE trial of NO SLEEP for many months all while moving.
My kids are perfect, perfect for me but not perfect people. I always laugh when I hear people say their baby sleeps through the night at 2 weeks or whatever. Honestly, that is so rare. So why are we all driving our self CRAZY trying to get our child to do the same. My 2 year old still gets up a few times a week. Along with Layla but I am calling it sleeping through the night. If Liam is going to take a nap it takes work. Often times it results in me laying down with him until he is dead asleep. At the same time I love the things he says while laying in his bed together. I love how he asks me to hold him and I love that it makes me take a break. Yes, my sweet son may not always be sweet. We have to keep a close eye on him when he is around his baby sister and friends. He is curious and ALL boy who likes to practice tackling on whatever he sees. My heart melted the other day when we took Layla to get her shots. Layla didn't cry but Liam cried as the nurse gave her the shot. I know he loves her. He is just testing his boudries. Evolving into a wonderful person.
Layla, yes I was going crazy during my NO SLEEP SUMMER. It didn't even compare to when my kids were new born. There were nights I had to put her in her crib and walk away because I was so frusterated. I wanted to scream and act the same way she was. What had I gotten my self into? I did cry as well, not because I was mad but because I wanted her to be happy and I couldn't make it happen. She screams and arches his back when I change her diaper. Poop often ends up all of my hand to keep it from getting on the floor. But the second I am done changing her she stops and gives me a cute grin showing her two bottom teeth while she is breathing heavy through her nose. It is sooo DARLING!!! I have to smile. Now that is she sleeping she is so bubbly. Always laughing.
I once had a friend tell me how she didn't know how I stayed at home. She has to work because it is easier. I agree. I do not sit and watch Oprah all day in my P.J's. I am busy trying to set good patterns in my childrens life. Getting up and ready early so we have time to eat a good breakfast keep a clean house (no I don't ALWAYS fold the laundry or dust all the time, my car is a MESS) and go try to introduce my children to new things all while trying to keep them both happy. My kids have several melt downs a day, toys are all over the living room and I look forward to the nights we have cereal for dinner because I seriously have NO TIME or ENERGY to do anything else. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I am sooo grateful I am there for every melt down because with that comes every smile, funny comment, sleeping baby, and new adventure. I would do ANYTHING for my children. They mean the world to me. They are my world. I have a love for them that words can't describe. It is the hardest work I have ever done but by far the most REWARDING.
Josh and I are two imperfect people who came from two totally different imperfect paths striving to have a perfect marriage. It is hard. We have had our ups and downs which have helped us grow together and individually far more then we could of alone. We joke around that we are happy we have kids because we finally have something in common. Most importantly we also have the gospel in common.
The gospel is perfect in every aspect. I have a testimony of it and I know that it makes me who I am. It is who I am. I know the life I have lived as a teenager and young adult would say I believe differently. I am grateful for the path I took because it has helped me gain the testimony I have. It was terribly hard and confusing even though at the time I thought it was right. I have grown close with MANY people outside of my faith. Some of my dearest friends and family members have different beliefs from me but they are the most amazing people. I would of missed out on meeting them and the influence they have had in my life. I have much respect for their beliefs. The path I have taken has given me the testimony I have. I know forgiveness is essential in our Father in Heaven's plan. The atonement is REAL and if we choose to use it our lives become "perfect".
I love my life. I love my kids and my husband. Crazy yes, but perfect for me!!!